AP Calculus Anxiety (Parody of Tik Tok by Ke$ha)

Wake up in the morning feeling like Descartes.
Grab my pencil, I’m out the door, I’m gonna have a party.
Clear out the rain, fill my brain with a li’l bit o’ math,
‘Cause I want a FIVE: AP, feel my wrath!

Don’t wanna one, two, three, or four, four.
Work? I gotta show some more, more,
So I can get a higher score, score…
I’m choosing A B C D or E.
Free response drives me crazy.
My calculator better not die… on… me…

Don’t stop, I’m on top!
Proctor, let us work, shut up!
Today, I’mma play
Those integrals with no delay…
Tick tock, on the clock:
I won’t quit ‘till time is up, no…
(Repeat)

Ain’t got a book on my desk, just myself in a chair.
Ain’t got no cheat sheet in my pocket, but I’m already there.
And now the nerds are a mess ‘cause they hear that test’s hard,
But

With an absolute max at (1,1)
Derivatives are so much fun, fun!
At related rates I come undone…

Mean Value Theorem shows up and we freak out
Or the Shell Method shuts us down, down
Shell Method shuts us down, down

Don’t stop, I’m on top!
Proctor, let us work, shut up!
Today, I’mma play
Those integrals with no delay…
Tick tock, on the clock:
I won’t quit ‘till time is up, no…
(Repeat)

Exam, you stress me out,
I fill you in
That answer sheet makes my head spin…
I’m thinking hard
Can’t focus, oh,
My brain hurts: yeah, now you got me…
(Repeat)

Now the exam don't start 'till I walk in:

Don’t stop, I’m on top!
Proctor, let us work, shut up!
Today, I’mma play
Those integrals with no delay…
Tick tock, on the clock:
I won’t quit ‘till time is up, no…